Changed
by Alison Wonderland
Summary: Independent warrior or princess waiting for her knight? Tifa's testimony as she tries to find herself.


AN: The Final Fantasy VII crew belong to Squaresoft. Not me. Don't sue me or you'll make me very upset.  
  
This is a Tifa story. This is from Tifa's perspective. In this story I'm trying to explain some of the nastier things she did in the past. I feel that she and Cloud are exactly alike in that they both seem to have identity issues, although Cloud's were more prominent in the game.  
  
In defense of my favorite character Tifa, I present to you...  
  
  
  
  
Changed  
  
  
A Final Fantasy Fanfic   
By  
Billie Allenbrand (a.k.a. Sailor Perseus)  
  
******  
3 hours ago  
  
The putrid air fought its way into my lungs. I could hear Barret screaming and pounding from the other side of the door. Sounds of an unholy beast violently shook the walls from outside. Captive in the execution chair, I raged against the restraints as much as my waning strength would let me.  
As Barret and Cait Sith left me, I screamed a warning for them to hurry up. I drew in one last breath of precious air mixed with the foul poison.  
I could hear gunfire and cannons. All of Junon was in total Chaos. The world was coming to an end in brilliant fire and deafening noise, and the whole Planet was in constant motion and panic. Only I remained in dark deadly stillness...waiting.  
Waiting.  
No.  
No. Not me.  
Tifa Lockhart did not wait.  
Right.  
Time was running out. My lungs were about to burst, but of course, I wouldn't let that happen. My eyes quickly scanned the room for some sliver of hope. There. A gold key on the floor caught my eye. Grateful for no foot restraints, I slid forward until my foot was on top of the key. Slowly, I dragged it towards me and picked it up with my feet. Taking it in my teeth, I unlocked the hand restraints on my right, then my left.  
Victory! I was free! My lungs seemed to implode as I let that one breath go...  
And then I remembered I was still trapped in the gas chamber. Shit!  
I had to turn the gas off. I scrambled to the wall, holding my hand to my mouth, and started pressing all the buttons, praying for something to work.  
Come on, I silently asked the controls.  
Finally, the gas stopped.  
I had but one sigh of relief before being hurled into danger once again. An energy beam ripped through the ceiling. I gazed for a moment in complete awe at my rescuer, a massive monster about several million times my body mass...  
...whose head just got blown off.  
I cringed, and for a moment, I felt sorry for Weapon. I mean, it was only trying to protect its Planet from the scumbag Shinra. But then again, blowing up everything in your path, be it enemy or civilian, isn't exactly the best or most effective way to handle a situation.   
I had to cringe again at that thought. What about AVALANCHE? How many civilians had died at our hand in the reactor explosions? When the time came for the Planet to die, would it decide to place us on the same level as the murderous Shinra? I had to face it. We were murderers too.  
But there was no time for guilt trips. I could hear Scarlet whining from the other side of the door.  
"What'd you do? Hey! Open it!"  
I had to laugh. "First you lock me in this weird place, and now you're telling me to come out? Make up your mind!"  
I leapt up to the gash in the ceiling and pulled myself out. Carefully, I made my way down the side of the building. Suddenly, I heard the sound of footsteps on the outside wall above me.  
I cursed as I sped up my descent. Scarlet's voice shrieked commands to the soldier following me. Ugh, that voice. The ditzy high-pitched voice that just screamed of money-grabbing greed and a spoiled princess.  
The underling soldier lost his balance and fell to his death below. I almost laughed. Imagine working loyally all your life to a company like Shinra, only to die because of one wrong step.  
I looked up and could just barely see Scarlet's flustered face. Things were definitely not going her way. She glared at me, like a five year old child would stare at a bigger kid who had defeated him.  
I grinned back, and defiantly pushed away from the wall. I fell, ever so softly and elegantly, a hawk of feminine grace...and power.  
The ground slammed into me with tremendous force. I quickly arose, the grin still on my face with the high of being still alive. But I knew Scarlet wouldn't give up, so I had to keep running. My footsteps sent metal clangs echoing through the massive cannon.  
And then I reached the end.  
A dead end, I thought, since when have I been this stupid?!  
Scarlet's high heels clicked triumphantly behind me.  
"Our little game of hide-and-seek ends here," she cackled, "The execution may have been unsuccessful, but your death by falling from here and crashing into the water below might be pretty exciting."  
There was no way I'd respond to her. I had to keep some dignity.  
Her hand whipped across my face. "Stuck up to the end!"  
No way. I was not going down this easy. Not because of her, anyway.  
"Quit slapping me, you old wench!" I roared.  
My mind raced. An angry flame surged through my body. My trusty fists flew out...  
...and bitch-slapped her.  
She seemed just as surprised as I was. But my rage worked too quickly for my conscious mind to react and cause me to start pummeling her, as was my usual fashion. She retaliated with another slap, which just fueled my raging inferno.  
Of course, the pampered princess gave up easily. "God! I can't stand it! Take her away!"  
One of her cronies ran up to assist her. "Now it's time to pay up," she threatened me, "I'll really drop you if you don't settle down."  
Suddenly, I could hear a voice telling me to run. I regained my sanity and dashed to the end of the cannon. Barret, in a huge airship, waved to me and threw out a rope.  
My head nearly exploded with exhilaration. Victory was in my grasp. I became the hawk again, leaping for the airship.  
Suddenly, my pride left me as I clutched at thin air. Gravity pulled at my stomach and I clawed frantically for the rope. Finally, I caught hold of it, and I drifted through the air, away from Scarlet, Shinra, and Junon.  
  
*********  
7 years ago  
  
I remember waking up. My heavy head was wrapped in bandages. My heavy heart, broken, had nothing to help it heal. There were remnants of tears, dead and frozen in my eyes.  
"Tifa?...She's moving! Oh my God, she's moving!!!" the voice shouted.  
I groaned as the pain shot through my head. I looked. I was still wearing the same blue dress I had worn when I fell. When did I fall? How long have I been here? I remember thinking.  
My father came running into the room. He grabbed me and hugged me tightly. Although the pain in my head pounded, I hugged him back. I remember his face. I had never seen him cry before. Not even when Mom died.  
I remember how dead I felt. I was stone cold and emotionless. There was too much I didn't understand. That I didn't want to understand. I had given up. I didn't want to be part of the scheme of things anymore. Time and space had decided that I wasn't necessary. They had thrown away my mother, a piece of my life, like so much trash. She wasn't needed in their plans.  
It scares me sometimes how downright suicidal I felt then. To this day, I still don't know why I ran off into the mountains. Or why I still felt that way when I came out of my coma seven days later.  
"Oh, Tifa, I thought you wouldn't make it," my father said.  
"I...I'm okay, papa," I replied weakly.  
"I love you so much. I don't think I could take it if I lost you."  
"I love you too, papa."  
"When you're feeling better, I'll take you home and you can rest. And I'll definitely have a few words with that boy."  
"What boy?" I asked, not quite sane enough to really care.  
"That Strife kid. He led you all the way up there, and he knew it was dangerous!"  
Suddenly, curiosity brought me out of my depressive state. "Cloud?"  
"Yes. What kind of idiot would do something like that?"  
"He...followed me."  
My father seemed stunned. "...What?"  
"I went on my own. I guess Cloud followed me."  
"Tifa, why would you-..." He paused, sighed, and said, "Well, that doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're safe."  
"How is Cloud doing?"  
"He busted up his knees pretty badly. Other than that, he's fine. He's one tough little punk."  
Then all was silent. My mind was racing with a million questions. My father said a few parting words to me as he left and I was surrounded by a flurry of doctors.  
When I was allowed home, I had Dad put my bed next to the window. I told him it was to get fresh air, but I really wanted to watch for Cloud. I had seen him outside my window many times before. For some reason, though, this time Cloud was nowhere to be seen. I remember being really upset about that because I had so many questions to ask him.  
I had heard a lot about him, however. I kept asking my father how he was doing, and he always replied with more stories of how unruly Cloud was acting and of all the fights he picked with people for no reason. This seemed really odd to me. I didn't know him very well, but he never really talked to anyone. It seemed unlikely that Cloud would pick fights like that.  
It was about a month before I could move around with almost total freedom again. It was then that Cloud chose to see me.  
I remember awaking one night to the sound of pebbles against the glass. I sat up in bed and opened the window. Cloud stood in front of my house. There was silence between us for what seemed like an eternity.  
"Hi Cloud," I managed to say.  
His eyes widened ever so slightly, as if surprised that I would even think of speaking to him. "...H-hi, Tifa."  
The image of him, so frightened, looking up at me, will forever be ingrained in my memory. He was so unsure of himself, and unsure of what I might do or say. He seemed ready to run at the slightest wrong word from my lips. I guess I didn't help things much, being so quiet. I was afraid, too.  
"So," I started, "how have you been doing?"  
Cloud immediately put up a calmer mask, trying desperately not to show fear. "Oh, um, not bad. You?"  
"A lot better."  
Another long silence. I could almost hear him struggling to come up with what to say next.  
"Um..." he began.  
"What is it?" I asked, eagerly.  
"I...really want to talk to you about something."  
"What's that?"  
He looked down, nervously.  
"Cloud?" I asked, anticipating at least some fraction of an answer to my questions.  
"I can't tell you here. I'm going over to the well. Please come."  
"All right."  
"I'll see you in a few minutes."  
I closed the window and changed out of my nightgown and into my blue dress. It was my favorite dress. I figured I'd wear it for luck. Quietly, I snuck out of my house and made my way towards the well.  
I remember just standing there in the shadows, out of Cloud's sight. I just stared at him for the longest time. There was something about him... I had other friends, and I knew I was pretty popular. They were all fun to hang with and I was very close with a few of them. But only Cloud followed me almost to our graves. It was understandable why my other friends didn't follow me. I was temporarily insane and I didn't expect them to understand my intentions anyway at their young age. Cloud, to me, was just that weirdo who came stalking me every once in a while. I was still nice to him on the few occasions we talked to each other, but still, we weren't exactly best friends. But he was the one who followed me, to make sure I was safe.  
I had to know why. In my mind, I had no purpose. The universe had screwed me royally and didn't seem to care whether I suffered or not. My friends were close, but our bond was still extremely superficial. It's very sad that I realized this at such a young age. Angry with all of existence, I decided to take myself out of the scheme of things, quitting before the gods had another chance to strike me again.  
Cloud's idea of me was different. He felt I should continue living, for some reason. Maybe he knew something I didn't. I noticed his eyes, looking at the sky. What did they see? How were they different from mine? How did I look in those eyes?  
Then, I saw him shiver. It was getting cold, and I was keeping him waiting.  
I emerged from the shadows. "Sorry I'm late."  
He looked at me and smiled a bit, happy that I hadn't abandoned him after all.  
"You said you wanted to talk to me about something?" I asked.  
He took a deep breath. "Come this spring...I'm leaving this town for Midgar."  
That hurt. I can still feel it now a bit. Fate had cruelly left me in the dust again. I wanted to tell him to stay, that I needed to know more about him. I wanted a chance at something, perhaps, deeper than what I had known before to be friendship.  
But all I could manage was "All boys are leaving our town."  
"But I'm different from all of them," he said, with a hint of lovely star-crossed dreamer in his voice, "I'm not just going to find a job."  
He stood, almost proudly, despite his obvious trepidation. "I want to join SOLDIER." He seemed to briefly take on the persona of a warrior as he explained his dream. "I'm going to be the best there is, just like Sephiroth."  
Sephiroth, I remember thinking, Wow! I could just imagine Cloud standing bravely in the Shinra uniform. So powerful, admired, courageous. Just like the legendary war hero, Sephiroth. Scenes started playing in my mind of Cloud saving entire kingdoms, wielding a mighty blade. In my mind, he was bigger than Sephiroth.  
These fantasies took the place of my questions. Such a beautiful person tried to save my life. Such a beautiful person thought my life was worth saving. I had to know more about him.  
He noticed I was thinking hard about something. "...huh?" He asked.  
"Will you be in the newspapers if you do well?"  
"I'll try."  
I was confronted with the harsh reality once again that he would have to leave to become this great hero. I couldn't make him stay. I had to find some way that he would remember to come back to me.  
"Hey," I said, "Why don't we make a promise?"  
Cloud looked down at me, taking his gaze from the stars for a moment.  
"Um," I started, "If you get famous and I'm ever in a bind...you come save me, all right?"  
"What?" asked Cloud.  
"Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come rescue me. I want to experience that at least once."  
Cloud seemed dumbfounded. If he was timid before about how to handle the situation, he was scared to death now. I think I had caught him off guard. "What?"  
"Come on! Promise me!" I pleaded, trying to inject some playful humor into the conversation.  
Cloud smiled a bit. "All right...I promise."  
True to his word, that spring Cloud left. Days passed. Weeks passed. I felt slightly content, knowing that Cloud was out there slaying dragons and such fanciful stuff. But I also felt that something was missing. I began to formulate new questions and ideas. Cloud was such an honorable warrior now. I had to find a way to prove to him I was still worthy enough to be his friend when he came back. Besides, I thought that my self-esteem could use some boosting at the time. I had been Daddy's little girl all my life. I wanted to be courageous and tough too.  
One day, I walked into a quiet little building at the edge of town. The inside was sparsely furnished, and there was a sense of peace, order, and tranquil to everything that I had never known before. I approached a gray-haired man meditating silently in the middle of the room. Trying awkwardly to express my respect for the man, I knelt down in front of him and bowed so that my forehead almost touched the bare wood floor.  
"Master Zangan," I asked timidly, "I would like to enroll in your martial arts class."  
  
*************************  
  
AN: This is only the first chapter. There is more coming, but I'm not quite done with Tifa yet. 


End file.
